What to say… it’s rare a city gets to say it is the best at something, but when it can, its residents become an enviable demographic. Montreal gets two such honors – bagels and smoked meat. I was vegetarian for a long time – barely a flexetarian these days, but even in my most equanimous moments of lightest step, I knew I’d still grab a Schwartz’s or Reuben’s sandwich when presented with the opportunity. Just too good!

Now, sandwich aside, my favorite thing to do in bring a steaming heaping pound of this stuff home and – make pie (or poutine, remember poutine = pizza, but another post)! It all starts with a hop down the street to 3895 St-Laurent, where you’ll find Schwartz’s Montreal Hebrew Delicatessen. You’ll know you’re there when you see the lineup. There’s always a lineup – always.

But chin-up, most of the queue is filled with those who wish to be crammed into a small chair at a shared table in bright noisy diner. A great time, but not this day – this day I get to wait in the shorter & faster takeout line, and I mean wait… you know the Soup Nazi? This is close… stay small and quiet and say thank you! And tip!! Oddly, I’ve ask for a pound every time, but always get a little more. It ain’t free, but somehow, I still appreciate it.

This meat, in a medium fat, is unlike anything you’ve seen. Keep the bag closed! Run home! No nibbling! This pound of meat is not a bag of chips! Go home!

Pizza dough – not my thing, yet, so on my way home, I buy some dough from some bakery (cooked or uncooked, it’s $1.00, so it’s hard to argue).

Pizza Sauce
1 pound/can tomatoes – crushed
1 tablespoon olive oil
½ pound mushrooms
1 onion
1 bud roasted garlic
1 bunch basil – fresh
2 – 3 anchovies
5 – 10 grates of Parmesan cheese
pinch salt & pepper & dried basil

Start the garlic roasting (tightly wrapped in foil and roast at 350C for 30 minutes). If using fresh tomatoes, blanch, peel, and crush your tomatoes. If using a canned tomatoes, just crush and look for peels or any hard bits. Peel and diced your onion, smaller the better; same with the mushrooms. In a hot pan, add your oil, onions, salt, pepper, and dry basil. Get a bit of color in the onion – golden hue – then add the mushrooms. When it’s ready add the garlic and toss; add the tomatoes. Let this cook for 30 – 45 minutes. You want a nice dry sauce. Tomato paste is often used to help achieve the right consistency. I like fresh or canned tomatoes. In the last 5 – 10 minutes add the remaining ingredients: julienned basil (save some basil for later); minced anchovies and a bit of anchovy oil; Parmesan.

Roll your dough or whatever has to happen and brush with olive oil, front and back, and pre-toast. All we have to do later is melt cheese, so it’s nice to get a crispy chewy head start on the dough. The oil starts to fry while baking the dough and that’s a good time. Pull the early golden dough out and add your sauce. I gotta say, this is good to eat just like this, so this next step in mind blowing: open the bag; add the meat, reserving the bestest slices for, um, garnish.

Grate the best mozzarella you can find and toss with the remaining julienned basil and some dried oregano. Place the cheese on you pizza and bake at 350C for 10 – 20 minutes. As stated before, we are melting cheese, so keep an eye on it. Let it rest for 5 minutes before slicing in – use a graceful hand; there’ s a lot of meat here. Add the, um, garnish, and…

To describe the taste: the fats are like a fleshy butter, bedded in sun-wind scarred fields; earthy; sweet and rich; rooted in sacrifice; blatant submissive independence. Uff… it is like a poem.

Schwartz’s Smoked Meat – Pizza – Part 2 – Breakfast

This pie – it takes 3 – 6 people to eat it, and leftovers are often a given, so… wake up, take your last slice(s) and heat in an oven at 250C for a short time (starting with a room temperature slice is better).

Fry eggs. Place eggs. Share. Go back to bed.

Again, I love eggs – maybe too much when it come to the Benny! Although traditionally considered a reasonable breakfast, I’ve managed, on more than one occasion, to sedate myself back into a jellified bedlust by noon, just because I love it too much.

Hollandaise Sauce (serve 2 – 3)
3 eggs yolks
1/2 cup butter (clarified)
1 lemon and zest
1/2 teaspoon mustard powder
pinch cayenne pepper
salt and pepper to taste

While techniques vary, you basically want to first melt butter (option to clarify), combine and whisk yolks and other ingredients, and slowly temper the yolks incorporating the butter, being careful not to cook the yolks with the hot butter. A tablespoon of tepid butter pieced into the yolks helps to safeguard against cooking. WHISK! MORE! I went crazy with lemon, over a 1/2 cup, because I enjoy the tang and I wanted to thin out my sauce.

Eggs and Spinach (per person)
1/4 pound spinach
2 eggs
1 English Muffin
salt and pepper to taste

Pretty much every weekend, Soli makes me breakfast. After seeing some breakfast potatoes online, I requested them in this past weekend’s breakfast. And look what I got!

I think the recipe is pretty standard. Chop up some potatoes, parboil them, toss with some oil and pan fry them up. Also in them were some sauteed onions, garlic salt and pepper. A shot of vodka was thrown in towards the end – nice touch!

Fry up some eggs, prepare some baked beans, add a couple pieces of bacon and a pickle, and there it is. The breakfast of champions.

This certainly won’t be the last eggs post, but I’m sure it’s the first. I love eggs. I love them because they are like a super hero food – ready for almost anything. This is a technique I learned working at restaurant (I work in a restaurant).

Ingredients (for one sandwich):

1 toasted English muffin
1 – 2 eggs
1 teaspoon fried onions
Toasted sesame seeds to taste
Swiss and Parmesan cheese to taste
Toasted sesame seeds
Salt and pepper to taste
Mustard and Mayo to taste
Black forest ham

This is a sandwich and I figure there no point specifying any measure other than taste.

Start toasting the muffin. I like two techniques; cut and toast or toast whole in a toaster oven. I like the whole method because it tends to bring back that “out of the oven” quality. The same can be said of most bread; heat then slice for chewier gooier bread.

Crack the egg into a microwave safe ramekin. Find a bowl or ramekin that is sized about the same as the muffin or bread you are using. You can butter your ramekin, but it is not required. Sprinkle in the fried onions, cheese, seeds, salt, and pepper. Grab a fork and fold it all together – nothing to vigorous, just enough to know that the ingredients have met their eggy host.

Nuke it! The amount of time varies, but 1 minute plus x number of 30 second shots should get you there. Try and not overcook – the heat will carry over, so if you “think” it might be done, just let it sit, and the carryover will set the egg and cheese up nicely.

Grab the muffin and slice in half. Spread mustard on one half; mayo on the other. If you have good or fancy mustard, and/or a nice oil (truffle, olive, herb), use it now!

Use a knife to run along the outside of the ramekin and use a large spoon to get this breakfast cheese cake out of it hole. Place in on the muffin. Top with ham and a little more cheese if desired.

Assemble, cut in half, toss in a pickle, and enjoy!